We want to see our daughters happy and settled in their married life. How is this possible in current times when many marriages are breaking? Also, How can a woman practice ascetism in life?

A marriage is an asceticism of love for a woman. It is renunciation by a woman who courageously goes to an unknown town/city/country/house. She then slowly tries to adjust herself in this place. A woman does not need to take asceticism.

Remember, she is the Tulsi of someone’s yard. We nurture the holy plant of Tulsi with the right soil and water and in the right place with light. Time is then given to Tulsi which stabilises herself. This Tulsi then becomes so beloved to God that Shri Hari does not accept anything without a Tulsi leaf on it.

Similarly, the wife becomes beloved to her husband. Thus she is an ascetic. Furthermore, the name of a person changes after becoming an ascetic; the father’s name is replaced by the husband’s name once the girl is married. The surname also changes.

This same girl, when her family is struggling for money and happens to go to her father’s house will say to her father, ” Dad, can I borrow some money please? I will return it to you quickly”. At this time, it shocks the father but he also feels proud that my daughter has learnt how to maintain relations from me.

Look at the drastic change she brings in her life! Only a woman can do this. Why? Because one of the characteristic of a woman is flexibility. She is not rigid. She will change and adapt to her new conditions immediately.

If a woman is rigid, she will not blend with everyone at her in-law’s family. There will be conflict every day and she will then cause separation of families. Even after separating, she will quarrel with her husband.

The wisdom and teachings of a woman are very important. It is the responsibility of a mother on how she brings up her daughter and the type of values she inculcates in her. Similarly, a father is responsible for building his son’s character. The first guru (teacher) of a daughter is the mother and the first guru of a son is the father.
Mobile phones in this day and age have created more issues. The mother will ring the daughter every half an hour. I plead to you, have mercy and don’t ruin your daughters’ lives. Give her time to adjust and stop disturbing her every half an hour. If mothers will understand then majority of marriages can be saved. Mothers have a huge role to play in spoiling or improving their daughters’ lives. Marriage is an ascetism.

“Do not just listen to anyone raising their voice or telling you off. What do they think of themselves? We are not dead! If anyone says anything to you, return to your home. Your father’s door is always open to you!” These are foolish statements told to a daughter. You are making a mistake. You are causing damage. The reason for clashes and issues within our family is such foolishness of ours.

The in-laws on the other hand need to nurture the girl like a Tulsi and let her grow. She is the Laxmi (wealth) of your house.

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